The advantages and disadvantages of social media have probably been talked about a million times before and cautioned for and against even more than that. But we’ve usually seen that in a wider context. What happens to people like me who are on the Internet, shouting from the proverbial rooftops about books? What impact does it have on us? How does it change us? How do we navigate the double whammy that is social media and our love for books?
Of course, when I say this, I’m only talking about my own experiences, something that seems fitting enough given that the day this goes up is my birthday. If you happen to relate to it, we’re two of a kind. If you don’t, then take it with a grain of salt because there are as many opinions in the world, if not more, as there are people.
When I started reading, it wasn’t because of some intense need for self-improvement or anything to that effect. What does a toddler know about things like this anyway? I’ve always been quiet, being able to spend time by myself even as a baby who’d just learned to crawl. My parents tell me that I grasped language quickly and consequently, was attracted to the written word. As years passed, you’d more often than not find me with my nose in a book. It developed as something I was intensely curious about, with fictional places being where I loved exploring and spending my time, and fictional characters being ‘people’ I loved befriending. You see, my childhood was spent with books because I wanted company, which was hard to find as an awkward introvert, and not because of some altruistic ideal towards myself.
As I grew up, I began to see things in books I never paid much heed to before. Before, I read them and thought them to be admirable sentiments, but I didn’t mull them over for hours or spend sleepless nights crying and thinking over them. Now, however, I saw humanity and love and loss and heartbreak and friendship and hardships and so much more! I acknowledged them. I embraced them. I spent time with them. Sure, it could be because in quite a few ways, I can be a slow learner. (Oh, the number of things I look back on and berate myself for not having understood at the time!) But here, I’d like to take the advice I usually give my friends: Be kind and don’t beat yourself up!
This awareness of the layers that books have and to the experiences that reading accords you became clearer than ever after I actively joined bookish social media. There has been a surge in my understanding of the world of books. I’ve spoken about this in a recent blog post, which you can find here.
My reasoning for evoking this again is that I want to reference the positives, but I also want to point out how huge of a quagmire it also is. There are disadvantages of social media while being a book ‘influencer’ in more invisible ways than visible. As mentioned before, a double whammy. While us book influencers have to deal with the obvious downsides of being online, we also have to deal with extremely personal changes that every interaction on the Internet evokes within us. It could be with our thoughts, our feelings, our morals, or our behavior. But it’s there and over time, it becomes more significant than one can care to admit.
My reviews and thoughts on the Internet have always been honest. It is my policy, too, that if I like a book, I will say I liked it and tell you exactly what it was that I liked about it. And if I didn’t like a book, I will say I didn’t like it and tell you exactly why. I do try to balance out things, i.e., if there is something I dislike in a book I end up liking overall, I will mention it and vice versa. I turn commissioned, paid work down if they aren’t okay with honesty. I’ve had multiple unpleasant interactions along the way including this obnoxious retort, “If you charge for reviews, then I should charge for writing the book!” But hey! Welcome to the Internet!
This honesty has led to me being called names, to people calling me stupid because I didn’t like their favorite book, to people calling me obnoxious because I ranted about a book that I didn’t like on MY platform. I wonder if these people understand the point of these platforms, if they understand that if they don’t agree with something, they can scroll on. Why waste your time insulting someone because they did or didn’t like something when you can spend it on something you love? Why expend that energy? And this, after my putting out disclaimers that whatever I’d be saying was my opinion of the book in question and not an attack on anyone.
I have a heavy feeling of déjà vu as I write this and I know it’s because I’ve written about this before. But I promise this is leading up to an important point.
The point being: Seeing all of this makes me wonder what the whole point is. As I see people do the exact same things they accuse other people of doing, I wonder what gives them that confidence and why I don’t have it. I see my development arc and how it has ebbed and flowed over time. I see how I’ve changed for the better. I see how my morals have changed, my perspective has changed, and how there has been a massive shift in the way I view people and their opinions. I understand myself a lot better now and though I do cut myself slack, I also do acknowledge the times I was a huge a-hole. I don’t know how these two personalities will coexist with time, but I’m sure I’ll learn.
It’s hard to remain positive during all of this. At one point, I considered giving up all sense of courtesy and humanity. It is easier to be an a-hole, after all. But I got my answer in that very second, because even though I’m not the embodiment of a great human being, my working against being a bad one must mean something. I understood then that being a good human is a lot harder than being a rotten one, because it takes work. And that is what makes us humans beautiful. I’m not indulging in any self-praise, really. I’m just trying to be honest.
So when I see this havoc being wrecked, I wonder whether what I’m doing really matters. I question myself. I curl inwards and consider taking off. This is one of the biggest disadvantages of social media: that people who don’t know you one drop, who you don’t know from Adam can make you feel like you’re worthless, like your opinion doesn’t matter, like you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing. They hold that power, irrespective of whether they know it or not.
I’ve never said that an author shouldn’t write just because I didn’t like what they write. My problem is always with the book, its subject, or the way it was written. Not with the person who wrote it. But people on the Internet attack me as a person, my intellect, because they think I’m a freaking idiot with no brains for not liking a book they like, and a b*tch for airing my negative opinion about it on a public platform. “This isn’t how you’re supposed to do it,” they say. “You could have said it in a nicer manner,” they say. “You don’t shit on it like this,” they say. Oh, the audacity! Sure, I could have said it in a nicer manner, but I have the same right to expressing my opinion about a book as you have the confidence to come and diss me on my corner of the Internet. All for a f*cking opinion! OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES!
And then, I get exhausted. This type of interaction boils my blood and by the time I’ve cooled down, it’s drained all my energy and I can’t bring myself to do anything that whole day other than brood over it or distract myself by scrolling through funny reels or simply go to sleep. I try not to let it affect me, because 5 years should be enough time to acquaint me with a majority of the disadvantages of social media. But I am at heart, an emotional girl who tried hard to fit in. So when she was spurned, like these comments do, she began to doubt herself. She began to wonder about the whole point of life, about why she was here on Earth. There didn’t seem to be any reason for it.
And yet, she tried.
To this day, that girl wakes up every morning and chooses to move forward because she knows there is no other way. So what if social media has more downs than ups? So what if she cannot handle the day or the negative comments that occasionally come her way? She’s supposed to dust it off and grow up and not complain and go to work, no matter the strain it takes on her mind. There will be people who tell her, “You chose this. You knew that there were so many disadvantages of social media. You still went into it with eyes wide open!” The same people who think that if you choose something, you’re not allowed to complain about it. That you cannot love something that is flawed.
So while I wonder all of this, I also wonder about human resilience and how it has brought us this far. Sure, it comes in all different shades, just like the people it resides in. Some shades of resilience cause people to be stubbornly annoying, some to be stubbornly upbeat, and some others to be stubbornly hopeful. Either way, it’s telling us that the human spirit is uncrushable.
Final verdict: Is there a point to it all? If you ask me, nope. Everyone’s winging it. Some are getting it horrendously wrong, some are getting it delightfully right, and some, like me, have no idea what they’re doing right or wrong.
Until we figure it out, let’s try to be better people. At least, I’m going to try. And the irony that I’m posting this on social media isn’t lost on me.
So yay. Happy Birthday to me.
Anyway, I’ll see you in the next blog post.
Keep reading and add melodrama to your life! ❤
Featured Photo by Geri Tech on Pexels.
The Melodramatic Bookworm 
Belated happy birthday, Sonali.
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Thank you, Asha!
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